


Thoughts post-nightmares

by Ronya_of_the_forests



Category: Lore Olympus (Webcomic)
Genre: F/M, Nightmares, fears, thoughts
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-02
Updated: 2020-05-02
Packaged: 2021-03-01 17:21:45
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,120
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23970739
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ronya_of_the_forests/pseuds/Ronya_of_the_forests
Summary: After experiencing another nightmare, Hades ponders thoughts on his fears, insecurities, and Persephone.
Relationships: Hades/Persephone (Lore Olympus)
Comments: 1
Kudos: 51





	Thoughts post-nightmares

**Author's Note:**

> After reading through Lore Olympus episodes within 48 hours, I just had to come, read and write, a short piece on Hades’ thoughts after another nightmare episode. 
> 
> I have never written anything before and English is not my first language, therefore, suggestions and kind corrections are always welcome!

Another night, _another_ nightmare. 

There have been quite a few of those of late, undoubtedly due to Minthe’s words worming itself deep into his consciousness and having a party with his fears and inner demons.

He feels tired. He _is_ tired, _so_ tired. Of insomnia, of his nightmares, of being likened to his father. He knows deep inside he is not **HIM** ; his very expensive therapist and he have managed to work on his automatic thought patterns and he knows he is not him. But he _is_ his son and he _looks_ like him - especially when he is ... angered.

He fears. He fears that there is something wrong inside of him, that _mere_ likeness alone can produce a catastrophic copy of his father. No matter how many therapy sessions he has had, deep insecurity related to _him_ still manages to grip his heart when he least expects it. And Minthe knew this - she knew exactly where to aim and shoot with her words; where it hurt the most. She expected him to cower and let her back in, into his home and into his heart (was she ever truly in his heart?), but he finally listened to that little boy inside and decided that enough was enough. He deserves better. It’s a shaky declaration at best, but his conviction is growing stronger with every passing day. He deserves a chance - even a theoretical one. And... he deserves love.

Love.

Such a strange concept, truly. “Here - take my battered, weary, broken heart and keep it safe for me”. Anybody willing to take a chance and loving somebody must be a pure fool. Love can make you weak and insecure and break you. And yet.... mortals and immortals alike do it every day, all the time. They sing about it, they proclaim it, they yearn and kill for it. And now he wants to join their ranks. He loves —— **NOPE** , not going there.

He _feels_ very strongly about Persephone. How is it possible to feel like this after knowing her so little? Is he a fool? A smitten, head struck fool? Surely he must be a fool - to feel like this, to feel that, for her. For _HER_... she who is.... everything that he is not.

Persephone.

A frustratingly cute being with the biggest heart and the kindest soul. Oh Gaia, how did he get mixed with this? Why did he fall —— **NOPE**! Why does he _yearn_ for her? Why _now_? Why _her_? She is barely an adult and he is old. He feels like a decrepit creep preying on a vulnerable barely-adult-still-somewhat-of-a-child young woman with the most beautiful eyes. Were he a mortal, they would accuse him of being a creep. A wealthy creep, but a creep nonetheless.

They are such opposites. She is young, too young, and he is old. Sometimes he feels older than his brothers and sisters, weary and tired inside, as if the Underworld itself bears one down.

She is _Light_ , whereas he is _Dark_. She is Life, while he is Death. Complete, utter opposites. Beings love her - her smile, her power to grow things, her lifepower; they crave and yearn for her - just like he craves and yearns for her. Beings - mortal and immortal alike - dislike him; he is too much of a reminder that life contains an end. It doesn’t matter that he is just an administrator of a system, a necessary head of something that needs to balance the beginning with an end. All everybody sees, is his similarity to chaos that was - his father - and the looming darkness that surrounds his domain.

Persephone is... hope. He just crushes hopes, he feels. She instills laughter and beauty into life, and he... while not necessarily an ogre, is not a beauty, not with his scars and his similarities to HIM. Not an ogre, no, but not truly a competition to younger, more handsome immortals either. And it shows - only certain type of beings have wished for his companionship. Minthe sought it to root her own insecurities to it, to ride the chaos within and remain upright, while tearing his own progress of healing down. Others have sought his riches and his power. Nobody ever wants him, _just_ him - the being behind the name, behind the God-status, and the enterprise.

He feels... lonely. So lonely. Even with Minthe he felt lonely. Hecate is a great friend, but despite lying to himself that he doesn’t need deeper connections, he does. He knows it now. Breaking it off with Minthe was necessary to begin searching for those deeper connections with other beings. To offer himself. To steel his heart and prepare for heartbreak, but to forge ahead and conquer his loneliness.

Gaia, how he longs for Persephone, as wrong as it may feel and seems for others.

He knows he has no right to fantasise about life with her, but hisnightmare has ensured he won’t sleep tonight anyway and his thoughts are sour already, so yearning for the impossible is just the little punishment he metes out for his poor heart and brain. He imagines telling her how he feels about her, how happy seeing her makes him and how much of a light she brings to him. He imagines her accompanying him through millennias - laughing, loving and just there, _for_ him, _with_ him. What he wouldn’t give to spend the rest of his existence worshipping her! He’d be the most ardent and gracious lover, the strongest shoulder and kindest ear. He’d make sure she would never have to shoulder her burdens alone and he’d support her initiatives with every ounce of pride he has. He’d feel like the luckiest of beings simply for being able to accompany her - light to his dark, gentle to his rough, laughter to his grumpiness. 

Except... he is old to her young, weary to her brightness, too damaged and dark for her unsullied nature. 

He will support her nevertheless. He will keep to her sidelines to make sure she will be able to mature into the Goddess she is sure to become. And even if it kills him - metaphorically, of course - he will stand by her choice of a life, TGOEM or a husband, whichever she will choose. He thinks part of his heart may wither away and crumble to dust upon either action, but at least he has been part of her life, her existence.

And maybe one day he will find someone, who will take on his partially crumbled, weary and withered, heart and when he does, he will make sure that beingknows with every fiber of their body that he, God and man alike, will try to ensure every bit of happiness, everlasting, forming from that union.


End file.
